Did I say 50,000 Words in November? Are you Sure? Because I was thinking maybe it was somebody else...

If you look up to the right at the top of this page, you will see my progress on my 50,000 words for National Novel Writing Month. But jeez, I have much more important things to do...

NaNoWriMo

Rotating Stack of Books #3 plus 50,000 Words and a Poem

So, as usual, the Rotating Stack of books by my bed is tottering with paperbacks and scribbles about authors. This month, I thought I'd clear out some riff-raff because I'm going to be so busy writing my 50,000 words, I won't have time to mess with mediocre. Guess what? I could only find one book to clear out. The rest are genius or near genius in one way or another.

One book of fiction that nearly killed me even though I only read 52 pages: The Angel's Game by Spaniard Carlos Ruiz Zafron, author of the wonderfully meaty and ghostly The Shadow of the Wind. I don't know if the translation is bad or the writing. I recommend The Shadow of the Wind. I'm clearing out The Angel's Game and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Two books of short stories

My number one in this rotating stack is Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout.

I'm having a love affair with Olive Kitteridge, one of the most tenderly nuanced characters I've read in awhile. Some of you might not have an interest in short stories, but wait! This is different. Olive is in every story and every story is about the same locale. You get a towns-eye view of this talk-aboutable woman, Olive, as if you live here too. I could do an entire post on this book, but I leave it for you to adore all by yourself.

Reasons for and Advantages of Breathing by Lydia Peelle: This is another outstanding collection of short stories. This book reminds me a bit of Pam Houston's Cowboy's Are My Weakness, only better. Houston's title is still one of my favorites, because isn't a cowboy everybody's weakness? But Peelle's title is on my list now too. The best story in Peelle's book is Sweethearts of the Rodeo, a lyrical tale of a summer at a horse farm that will grab you with its frankness and hold on to you with its beauty.

Two non-fiction books

The China Study by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell II. Let me start by saying The Campbells mean business when they subtitled this book The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted: Startling Implications for Diet, Weigh Loss and Long-Term Health. One of the Campbells, I forget which, spent his entire career in biomedical

research centered on protein as the very basic key to diet. Then he ran over to Asia to study a bunch of Chinaman. Guess what years of study proved? Meat protein is not essential. The book is fascinating but dense like a text book. I have to read this in bits and pieces. Otherwise I'd stab out my eyes.

In Praise of Slowness, Challenging the Cult of Speed by Canadian journalist Carl Honore`. This book is in my stack, but I haven't started it yet because I haven't slowed down long enough to appreciate it. I've loaned it already but I haven't read it. It comes highly recommended to me by several folks, in particular, my long distance Minnesota buddy Pamela Kay of the Milky Way. Isn't that a GRRREAT name?

Two books of poetry

William Carlos Williams, Selected Poems: I had no appreciation of WCW at all until I read this book. We studied it in Tony Abbott's annual fall poetry class at Queen's this time and I gotta say, William Carlos Williams has turned out to be THE MAN and studying him has greatly improved my own poetry. I was so moved by William's The Horse I wrote a poem about finding it.

My other poetry find this month is Facts About the Moon by the fabulous Dorianne Laux. I keep one of Dorianne's poem's in what I call The Laura Collection, a notebook of poems I refer to whenever I want to be inspired. It is called Antilamentation and it will knock you out and it is here. And a little more. If you like those, you will love Facts About the Moon.

One for closet-reading

And finally, I might or might not be reading a little Kathy Griffin on the side. I appreciate your discretion in this matter.

Let me know what you think about the books or recommend one to me!

You, too, can write 50,000 Words of fiction in November!

So don't you want to get a few things off your chest? November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Join me and friends and a bajillion other folks across the planet. All you have to do is write 50,000 words this month, no editing, just write. That's about 1700 words a day depending on when you start. It's liberating to write with no agenda and no editing. I'm just telling stories I've been wanting to get down on paper for years, but with embellishments and names changed to protect the innocent. You can be my bud and write too or just check up on my progress here.

Because I'm Iron-aged and Because I'm Drunk

Thanks, readers, for voting when I asked you to choose a blog post title.

Your top 3:

1. Because I'm Middle-aged and Because I am Drunk

2. Why I'm a $%&@ Vegetarian

3. I've Had Some Great Times When I've Been Lost

So I'm a little disappointed I put BIMaBID as a choice because the title is the best thing about the post. The actual post is kinda lame. Maybe you'll leave a better story in the comments?

I'm not much of a drinker these days. If I have more than two glasses of wine, I get myself a royal headache. Or something bizarre happens like Punk eats somebody's medication or drinks gasoline and has to be rushed to the emergency room. Too much room for error. But once in a while I'll have that third glass.

The blog post title originated at book club a while back. On this particular date, instead of talking about the book,we drink wine and play Apples to Apples, the hilarious card game where one person chooses an adjective card and the other players throw out their own card that best matches the adjective. You might match scary with Dracula, ecoli, or Joan Rivers depending on the cards in your hand. The best match wins the hand and so on.

As the night wears on, we have a little more trouble matching cards or it takes some of us me a little longer to come up with a match or to comprehend the match. The game deteriorates when my response to irritable is broccoli.

My excuse? Of course. Because I'm middle-aged. And because I'm drunk. At the time, we I think this is the funniest thing ever said. See? Lame. At least I now have an answer for any inquiry into my stability. Seems to work.

In another one of her intriguing blog posts, this one related to Halloween, XUP put up this scary photograph of an Iron Age mummy who turned up in a bog in 1984. Ironic that he's now turning up in blogs. Causes of death? Strangulation, fractured skull, and a slit throat. Yikes.

I don't know about you but whenever I see a mummy with its throat cut and its skull bashed, I wonder about the day this person died. Did he wake up knowing he'd fight to the death? What the heck happened? Did he die thinking "boy, I wish I hadn't said that" or "I knew I shouldn't trust that bitch"? Was he taken by surprise?

Or did he, in his last moments, think It's because I'm middle-aged. And because I'm drunk.

So what's your BIMaBID story?

You Tell Me

So I've started many posts in the last few weeks. Which one do you think I should finish?

1. I Am a Sheep Afterall

2. Top Ten Reasons I Can't Wait to Get Outta this damn Boot

3. Why I'm a &@%#$ Vegetarian

4. Because I'm Middle-Aged and Because I'm Drunk

5. I've Had Some Great Times When I've Been Lost

6. Books I Wish I Could Tell You I've Read

7. Mexican SoulCollage

8. My Dogwalker Made a Punk Sandwich

Well?

The Dog Whimperer plus Salad

So Friday was a bee yoo tee ful day in Charlotte . 75 degrees, a little breeze, lots of sun. I'm grinning and singing about the fall weather. I've got the day free and I'm sporting a brand new October t-shirt…it is green and it says BOO. I'm dogsitting for my mom, so I have Foxy the red mountain dog and my two. We go for a ride...

Then we go for a walk...

Not pictured: The stroller. The park is down the street from my house. Since spine surgery, Judge only has the stamina to walk to the park. He rides back. So I'm also pushing an empty stroller. On the way, we are an unwieldy bunch. We run into walls and trees. We almost tear off legs. We mow down recycling bins. We chase plastic bottles up and down the street. Luckily I'm the only one to step in dog doo. Dog doo left on the sidewalk by the evil Anonymous. (not us.)

While I'm trying to drag poo off of my shoe in the grass, the dogs wrap themselves around my legs, but at least they stay close. The stroller has a mind of its own and rolls almost to the creek before I can untangle the legs to get to it. Then Stroller time...

What I’m trying to convey to you is that we make a scene. People look at us. A lot.

When we get home, I discover the gigantic bright yellow factory sticker that says GLOW-IN-THE-DARK $5.99 still stuck to the front of my new t-shirt directly above the "BOO". Jeez. I didn't even know it was glow-in-dark.

So we hide indoors 'til dark.

P.S. You won't be surprised to hear that Punk acts up when I'm distracted by the other dogs. I go in the kitchen to make myself a fabulous salad and this is what I find:

Cappy's Portabello Salad (in her words)

Mixed baby field greens

Cherry Tomatoes, halved

Portabello mushrooms sauted in a little olive oil unti well cooked, sliced (use one good sized mushroom per serving)

Mild creamy goat cheese

Fried Shoestring potatoes (not like big french fries the crunchy little ones they sell in a can on the snack food aisle that woman used to use to top tuna casserole)

Balsamic Vinaigrette

Mix the greens and tomatoes with the vinaigrette. crumbled goat cheese liberally on top and cover with the warm mushroom slices to melt. Top with a generous handful of the potatoes. It was good but what really set this off was the fried flavor of the "french fries" the little crispies i used were too thin to really put in a big potatoe punch so I think next time I'll plate the salad on a bed of them AND use them as croutons. They really set off the flavor of the goat cheese in a way that is lovely AND surprising.

Beckon Lovely Again

Checkout the new Beckon Lovely over at LoLaSuzanne...

A Poor Excuse for a Blog Post

So, the other day, I run up to the neighborhood drugstore which has a post office in the back. I mail two packages. I walk around all of the aisles to the front where four or five people are in the cash register line. I get in it. When it is my turn to pay, I am as stunned as the cashier. We stare at my hands. They are empty. I'm not buying anything. I just came in here to mail some packages.

I shrug my shoulders at the cashier and walk out of the store. You see, reader, I am getting used to this kind of crazy.

Lately, I'll start out to clean, say, the kitchen. While scrubbing the counter, I find a letter. Oh! I need to add this address to my gmail contacts. Reading email, I realize I haven't paid tuition on a poetry workshop. Which takes me to the bedroom for the paperwork tucked in the rotating stack of books by my bed. While making up the bed, I notice a book I've borrowed. I'll just put this book in the car to return. So efficient! On the way back from the car, I see fire ants on my sidewalk. The fire ant chalky death powder is in the shed out back.

And that is how I find myself, three hours later, in the backyard. With the entire contents of the shed spread out on the lawn. With no kitchen cleaned, no bills paid, and a sidewalk still teeming with fire ants. Of course, now I only have an hour to clean the sweat off of my body and drive to work.

So I gotta go, because now I only have thirty minutes.