Kathyesque Hokey Pokey

So I’ve been a bad bad girl. Two months ago, I asked my friend Kathy if I could link to her journal by answering five of her questions. She sent me the questions promptly. I’m a procrastinator. Doesn’t it say so in my profile over to the right? Questions 4 and 5 stopped me every time. But I finally faced them down and I think I kicked their butts. You be the judge.

1. Do you do your best work before noon or after?
 I do good work before noon, but my best work happens by accident. Any time of day I might suddenly get fired up about some little something and write it all in one great swoop. My muse has no schedule. Curses!

2. Aside from the state of the economy, what's the most disturbing thing you've seen on the news lately? Cruelty stories. I can’t bear them. Animals especially. That news story about the guy who threw that dog into traffic makes me want to crumple up in a dark room. Of course this means I’m no help at all. Snivelers aren't much help at prevention.

3. Gold or silver? Both. I wear more silver. I have no idea why unless it’s because I am shamefully at the mercy of whatever is trendy and then shamefully late grasping the next trend.

4. What was the impetus for you to start writing?

Looking back, I see that I started writing for three reasons.

Reason one. My mother is a writer. I wanted to be like her. I immediately picked up her passion for books which led me to a book about a little girl who always carried a notebook and wrote in it.

Reason two. So I started carrying a notebook, too, in about the third grade. That habit has lasted almost 37 years and led to many stories and poems. At ten years old, the word diary seemed anti-literary to me, so I called these notebooks “Thought books”. I’ve had two terrible mishaps with Thought Books.

• Terrible Mishap A: At 14, my aforementioned first stepmother (Stepmother The First) stole one, read it, and reported to my father that I was shoplifting. This is how my also aforementioned shoplifting reign of terror ended. I was grounded and had to return some of my loot (the incriminated loot). My mother would not let them punish me further because she felt stepmother The First had violated my privacy by reading my private papers. (Yea, mom!)
  
• Terrible Mishap B: I can’t publicly talk about this one because I’m still suffering the consequences and it’s deep and dark in there and let's face it, I can't tell you everything. Let’s say I was once again caught doing something I’m not supposed to do, but this time I was not breaking the law. I was an adult and my punishment was my own.
  
• Terrible Mishap Lessons: a)Everybody is not as honest as your mother. b)Write your thoughts not your actions. c)Certainly do not mention in a concrete way, any crimes or deadly sins you may or may not have committed. And d) never ever write poetry about it in the same notebook.
  

Reason three. Reader, you probably forgot we’re still doing a list here. Reason three for becoming a writer is that I am compelled to share. And I’m good at it. It killed me not to flesh out Terrible Mishap B for you.

5. If you could do one thing in your life over, what would it be and why?

This question is why it took me two months to respond. I cannot settle on one thing.

a) Maybe I would not write Terrible Mishap B in a notebook, or maybe I wouldn’t do Terrible Mishap B at all, but Terrible Mishap B is only a small part of my myriad mishaps, so what of the others?

b) Maybe I'd save marriage for later or maybe I wouldn’t date that one guy for six years or

c) I might’ve traveled and written stories after college instead of taking that arts foundation job or

d) Maybe I would not have paid 500 dollars to that fat bail bondswoman with a beehive hairdo and a Chihuahua on her desk to get my boyfriend out of jail that time.

e) Really? This me wouldn’t change anything because then I wouldn’t be this me. I’ve come too far to risk winding up as somebody else.

But then again, I wouldn’t mind being Melinda Gates so much either.

*If you’d like your own questions, ask me for them in a comment to this post. I'll send you five questions. When you answer them, link back here. Wanna see Kathy’s? Press here.